Thought for today..

One day a man was sitting by a river minding his own business when a stranger walking by noticed the back of the man’s neck and decided to give it a slap theorising on what kind of sound it would make. The man clasping his now stinging neck, jumped up to hit the stranger back.

His attacker said “Hold on!  Answer this for me – what made the sound, my hand or the back of your neck?”

The man answered “When you have experienced exactly what I’m feeling now you will be able to work it out for yourself and see the value in your theory!”

(Paraphrased parable – exact source unknown)



By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

Are you a Narcissist?

Take the test… 🙂



The Narcissist’s Club

Synchronicity is wonderful. The other day I was wondering what causes a number of people to act the way they do on various blogs and when I put the behaviours into a search engine, lo and behold! “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” came to the front. (As I started to do more research I saw one of our team had just posted a Narcissism test and Heather Martin had also just posted on this subject – great minds think alike!!)

Having done some research, what I found is set out later in this article (the reference sources are at the bottom of the page).

What started me off on the research was a number of what I considered to be strange behaviours. These are in no particular order of priority:

Refusal to accept responsibility or apologise. 

Vitriolic behaviour towards anyone who has the temerity to suggest that they may not be right about something/anything – this despite
professing to promote love and world harmony.

Absolute unquestioning support for some other people until either faced with irrevocable proof for the umpteenth time that the person is
false or more usually when they have fallen out with them over some issue.

Unbelievable arrogance in that only they know best and often promulgating that they are hugely important on the world stage. 

Incredible ability to forget/ignore the past. For example :
All those who forecast the end of the world in 2000 (and again in 2012 with added prophecies of mass “ascension”, the world splitting into two or three etc…) and then resurrect or re-invent themselves using various methods.
All the financial “Gurus” who have forecast the revaluation of the Dinar every week, month, year for the past decade who continue to say it is just around the corner.
Unbelievable inconsistency. For example:
One “high-up” financial advisor – on the one hand telling all his followers that the Dinar Scam is just that and people should not expect any “global reset” in the financial market then as soon as someone tells him that they have sold their Dinars telling the person they have made a mistake and
must immediately buy them back.



What all this tells me is that frustrating as it is, many of these people may genuinely have a Personality Disorder. Interestingly the professionals say Narcissism is not easy to treat (not least because the patients believe themselves superior to the Doctors treating them). Also interestingly, one of the papers I read advises that arguing with Narcissists is like “spitting into the Ocean” in terms of the difference it is likely to make to their behaviour.

Originally I named names, but after researching further into Narcissism I learned that it can be triggered by some kind of trauma in the past.  In that case it is unfair of me to add to their suffering. Ideally if someone recognised their traits I would be delighted if they sought medical help.

However, this article seeks to help explain what may be the underlying cause of some of the behaviours and inconsistencies of some and to recognise that instead of getting angry, perhaps we should be sorry for the individuals but at the same time be very wary of following what these people say/recommend.  Narcissists also think everything is about them.

Do not be influenced by others – especially not me! Do your own research – think and discern for yourself!

What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:
1 Are self-centered and boastful
2 Have a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates
achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without
commensurate achievements)
3 Are preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
beauty, or ideal love
4 Believe that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood
by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or
5 Require excessive admiration and seek constant attention

6 Have a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance
with their expectations
7 Are exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends
8 Lack empathy, e.g., are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others or others viewpoints
9 Are often envious of others or believe that others are envious of them

10 Consider themselves better than others

11 Are easily hurt but may not show it

12 Set unrealistic goals
13 Expect that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants

14 Hypersensitive to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation

15 Cannot apologise or take accountability. They do not seem to
understand that saying one is sorry represents an expression of empathy
with the injured party irrespective of whether the hurt was intentional
or avoidable.

16 Are extremely critical of other people
17 Contradict themselves, lie and deny they have said and done things
18 Are naive and vulnerable and so disconnected from what other people are
up to, that they don’t recognize when someone is taking advantage of
19 Are totally and inflexibly authoritarian. In other words, they are
suck-ups. They want to be authority figures and, short of that, they
want to be associated with authority figures.
20 Cling fanatically to the opinions of people they regard as authority
figures as they’re trying to borrow that person’s strength/expertise.
21 Are hostile and ferocious in reaction
22 Are impulsive. They undo themselves by behavior that seems
oddly stupid for people as intelligent as they are. Somehow, they don’t
consider the probable consequences of their actions.
23 Their ability to convey criticism is equaled only by their resistance
to assimilating it. Frequently, they seem to have mastered the art of
deflecting blame.

Where we read:

An individual with narcissistic personality disorder has a hair line trigger to any criticism real or imagined, and cannot be ‘wrong’. This creates a highly abusive situation for a person in a narcissistic relationship, because the narcissistic personality will perform outrageous abusive crimes and will take no responsibility for his or her actions.


How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
(a) Just one — but they have to wait for the whole world to revolve
around them.
(b) None at all — they hire menials for work that’s beneath them.

© 2015

Protected by Copyscape DMCA Takedown Notice Violation Search